The Pain of Change

newyearYesterday I talked about the fact that we usually don’t change until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of maintaining the status quo. As luck would have it, Mark Batterson recently blogged about the same topic. Below is an excerpt from his post:

A couple decades ago, a pair of psychologists named William Samuelson and Richard Zeckhauser discovered a phenomenon they dubbed the status quo bias. Simply put: most of us have a tendency to keep doing what we’ve been doing without giving it much thought. . . . We are simply creatures of habit. But maintaining the status quo can become detrimental.

For example, a study was done on college professors who were part of a pension plan. And the researchers discovered that the professors picked a plan upon entering the program, and while they had the freedom to change plans based on life circumstances or market conditions or even the size of their portfolio, the median numbers of changes in their asset allocation was zero! In other words, most of them picked a plan and forgot about it. They stopped evaluating. By the way, what was even more telling is that many of the married participants who joined the program when they were single still had their mothers listed as their beneficiaries.

Have you have ever been offered a free subscription to a magazine for the first year? Why would we be offered something for free? It’s because magazine companies understand the status quo bias. Most of us will forget to cancel. And it’s not really that we’ve forgotten. We’re just too lazy to make a simple phone call or write a simple letter. Right? That is human nature! We tend to keep doing what we’ve been doing. And the problem with that is this: if you keep doing what you’ve always done you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten.

I couldn’t say it better myself!  May you all be richly blessed in 2009.

Reminder: I have two copies of Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight by Karen Scalf Linamen to give away. To enter the random drawing, please e-mail your name and mailing address to seewhykinsman@yahoo.com. I’ll double your chances to win if you tell me your #1 New Year’s Resolution — the one thing you really WANT to change; I’ll post the answers I receive anonymously. The drawing will take place this Friday, January 2, 2009. Good luck!

Advertisements

Leave a Comment

Change is Painful or Pain is Needed to Change?

newI’ve been thinking a lot about the changes I want to make in my life: one change is physical, one is emotional and one is spiritual.

I know a lot of the steps that need to be taken to make these changes, but I’m having a hard time making the commitment to put forth the effort. Even though I really. really, really want the results, I’m having a hard time deciding to put in the work needed to achieve those results.

Recently, a co-worker reminded me of how much she hates change. Really, I’ve never met anyone who despises change more than she! Change is painful for her.

But for me, and most people, pain is required to achieve change. In other words, people don’t change until the PAIN of staying the same is greater than the PAIN of change.

Al-Anon principles teach family members of alcoholics to stop enabling their loved ones by helping them function and minimizing the consequences of their destructive actions. Why? Because an alcoholic will never want to change until (hopefully) the consequences of drinking outweigh the pleasure — until the pain of staying a drunk is greater than the pain involved in becoming and staying sober.

The dieter doesn’t diet until the pain of being overweight (physical pain, emotional pain) is greater than the pain of diet and exercise.

So, I find myself DESIRING PAIN to motivate me to commit to the changes I need to make to reach my desired goals.  How screwed up is that?!

Speaking of making changes, remember that I have two copies of Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight to give awway this week. To enter the random drawing for a free copy of this book by Karen Scalf Linamen, please e-mail your name and mailing address to seewhykinsman@yahoo.com. I’ll double your chances to win if you tell me your #1 New Year’s Resolution — the one thing you really WANT to change; I’ll post the answers I receive anonymously. The drawing will take place this Friday, January 2, 2009. Good luck!

Leave a Comment

Book Review and Giveaway: Real Help for Your New Year’s Resolutions

only-nuns-coverKaren Scalf Linamen says she writes humor and self-help – together, not separately. To really understand that description, you have to read one of her books. Luckily, I recently got the chance to do just that.

In light of the quickly approaching New Year and our propensity for resolutions, this week’s book review features Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight by Karen Scalf Linamen. Her advice is sound, but her delivery is hilarious. Check out some of these chapter titles:

Does the Name Pavlov Ring a Bell?

If at First You Don’t Succeed, Skydiving Is Not for You.

The Next Time You Come to the End of Your Rope, Start Flapping Your Arms

Very Funny, Scotty. Now Beam Up My Clothes

A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins at the Fuel Pump

Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight will give you advice on how to make ANY change you desire. It doesn’t matter if your desired change is simple (stop losing my car keys) or difficult (learn how to manage my temper), short term (organize my spice cabinet) or long term (lose 75 pounds). This book will help you identify the areas of your life you want to improve, set specific goals, motivate you to get started and encourage you to persist until you’re successful. Karen gives the reader 52 tips, detailed instructions, examples, and anecdotal stories funny enough to make you wet yourself as you nod and think, “Yep, I’ve done that!” Of course, just as many times you’ll say to yourself, “At least I’m not that bad!”

If you desire to make any lasting change in your life, Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight is the book you need to truly believe, “Yes, I can!”

GIVEAWAY: I have two copies of this book to give away. To enter the random drawing for a free copy of Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight by Karen Scalf Linamen, please e-mail your name and mailing address to seewhykinsman@yahoo.com.  I’ll double your chances to win if you tell me your #1 New Year’s Resolution — the one thing you really WANT to change; I’ll post the answers I receive anonymously.  The drawing will take place this Friday, January 2, 2009. Good luck!

If you don’t win, you can purchase this book on www.amazon.com and other favorite booksellers.

Here is the book summary from the publisher and information about the author:

Summary:
Every woman longs for change in some area of her life. Unfortunately, fear, fatigue, adversity, heartbreak, past failures, and even the choices of other people get in the way and make lasting change seem out of reach. Having been there herself, Karen Linamen knows exactly how to take readers from where they are to where they want to be.
In Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight, she examines 52 powerful actions readers can apply to any change they long to embrace. Her insights apply to career, finances, personal health and fitness, relationships, faith—in fact, every facet of a woman’s life.
Blending laugh-out-loud humor and sage advice, Linamen shows readers the link between dissatisfaction and transformation, how to remodel habits, the little-known truth about procrastination, how to generate the energy they need to pursue the life they desire, how to benefit from options and resources they never dreamed they had, and much, much more!
only-nuns-authorAuthor Bio: Karen Scalf Linamen is a popular speaker and the celebrated author of ten books for women, including Due to Rising Energy Costs the Light at the End of the Tunnel Has Been Turned Off and Just Hand Over the Chocolate and No One Will Get Hurt. She has been featured on more than one hundred radio programs, including FamilyLife Today. Publishers Weekly describes her as “funny, forthright and unforgettable.” Linamen lives with her family in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Visit her website at www.karenlinamen.com.

Leave a Comment

Enlist God’s Help

There are three areas of my life that need drastic change. One area is physical, one is emotional and one is spiritual.

The other day I was putting these goals in writing and brainstorming ways to help me achieve them. Of course, I needed God’s help in achieving my spiritual goal; enlisting God’s help in meeting my spiritual need was one of the first ideas I jotted down under that category. Awhile later I wrote down “learn to depend on God to help” under my physical need. Quite awhile later, I wrote down “need the Holy Spirit to guide me” under the emotional need.

Funny, isn’t it, how much easier it is to accomplish ANYTHING with His help?! So why doesn’t that idea doesn’t readily and immediately come to mind?! At least that’s the case for me. First I think about all the things I can do and after I’ve tried everything else, then God pops into my head as the solution (or a “helper” for me).

Recently I was reading Francis Frangipane’s weekly message and these words stood out for me:

“In reality, grace if God’s promise to do for us what we cannot do ourselves.”

Hmmm.  That gave me pause. 

You can read the whole article below.  I’m going to take a few days off and will be back again on Monday.

http://frangipane.org/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/AppLogic+FTContentServer?pagename=FaithHighway/Globals/DisplayTextMessage&PROJECTPATH=10000/1000/728&sermonid=textsermon_1229046163821&customerTypeLabel=Weekly&sermontitle=Shout Grace!

Leave a Comment

Crossroads

road_sign1I mentioned to you last week that I feel like I’m at a crossroads regarding a number of aspects of my life. I thought I’d share a poem by Portia Nelson that lets you know where I am and where I want to be.

Autobiography in five chapters
1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost…I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place. But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there. I still fall in…it’s a habit.
My eyes are open; I know where I am; it is my fault.
I get out immediately.
4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.
5) I walk down another street.

Leave a Comment

Winners of This Week’s Book Giveaway

living_rich1 Congratulations to our three winners of Ellie Kay’s new book, Living Rich for Less: Stephanie from West Allis, Wisconsin; Elaine from Orange Beach, Alabama; and Kelly Blackwell from Prescott, Arizona.

I have several more book giveaways in the next couple of weeks so please check back often. Book reviews are on Mondays and drawings are on Fridays. My rambling thoughts are on days in between. My next book giveaway starts December 29th and will be a great book to help you keep your New Year’s resolutions.

Comments (2)

Life with Authenticity

As I’ve explained many times in the past, I read a wide range of books and other matierials.  Recently I was reading a great book written by a woman who’s search for spiritual meaning centers around Hinduism.  The book is called Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  This is a wildly entertaining book with a lot of life wisdom as well.  I love the writer’s “voice” — she’s hilarious!  I highly recommend it.  

In any case, she’s quoting from the Bhagavad Gita — an ancient Indian Yogic text, which says, It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection.

That line really struck me, especially lately.  I’m struggling with a number of issues including who I am and who I want to be.   I’ll share my journey with you after I process some of it myself — it’s just too raw right now.   Since I don’t have any wisdom on this topic, I thought I’d at least leave you with someone else’s wisdom!

GIVEAWAY:  Remember to enter this week’s drawing for a free copy of Living Rich for Less by Ellie Kay. Please e-mail your name and mailing address to seewhykinsman@yahoo.com to be entered in the random drawing this Friday, December 19th. Good luck!

Leave a Comment

« Newer Posts · Older Posts »